Angst

#212 July 31.

#212 July 31.

Draw a circle. Fine.
That’s all you know and are able to comprehend.

Now, draw a circle around that. Good.
That’s what you can be able to know/comprehend/apprehend, by just doing a
little bit of work.

Why should you do it?
Beats me. Every miserable day.

-A Teacher

#211 July 30.

#211 July 30.

I don’t want to look at the world anymore. It either has something attractive
which experience has taught me is impossible to get, or something ugly and
depressing.

-Steven Snedker

#210 July 29.

#210 July 29.

Definition of the classic comedy: The little clever one, cheats the big
stupid/powerful/respected one.

Definition of the clasic tragedy: A Noble person has a noble project that turns
to shit in his hands.

Definition of the evil comedy: The little stupid one has no projects and eats
shit with delight because he can’t taste the difference between shit and cake.
The noble one hopes in vain.

-Neugamme

#209 July 28.

#209 July 28.

More about birds.
The goshawk is a predator. the female stays at the nest while the male flies out
to get food. If another male comes by, she’ll let herself get fucked in return
for food. That’s why the goshawk is the number one bird when it comes to fucking
with 500 to 600 fucks a season. The male has to make sure that he’s the most
possible father of the offspring.
Then there’s of course the the cukoo (in the nest), but we all know about that
one.

Oh, and while we’re at it, war is not uncommon among animals, neither is
cannibalism.

And all these damned happy indian tribes or people in the south pacific that
worshipped Mother Nature, clean water, children, astrolgy, female goddesses,
peace, love, sex and vegetarianism were all neurotic, stupid and constipated.
And actually very very unhappy most of the time. New Age and Nature my arse!

-Neugamme and Anders Pape Moeller

(Ander Pape Moeller is teaching biology at the University of Upssala, Sweden,
and writing for the swedish “Naturen och Os”. Neugamme is nasty.)

#208 July 27.

#208 July 27.

Later Anders Pape Moeller caught the male swallow and spent the day watching
what the female did in his absence. The female was offered lots of sex by male
swallows that came looking. The male neighbours came by for a fuck, and the
female usually allowed the older males that had a partner, but not the
partner-less young swallows. But they can get their chance by killing her
offspring. If a female hasn’t had any success with a bunch of eggs, she’ll be
looking for a new partner.
Ironsparrows have more males than females. The males are grouped into
dominating ones (with partner) and weak ones (without partner). The weak ones
will feed the offspring, if they’re allowed to fuck one of the dominating males’
partner. Otherwise, it’ll do it’s best to smash the eggs. Females are interested
in getting as many partners as possible, because it means food and protection is
provided by more males. They live in bushes, and it’s easy for the female to
find a partner. If she’s away from the nest when her principal partner returns
he’ll peck on her porthole until the rivals sperm drips out, then fuck her
himself.

-Abstract of work by swedish biologist Anders Pape Moeller.

#207 July 26.

#207 July 26.

“90% of all birds, stay with the same partner all their life.”

It’s a fact. But nature’s not idyllic. Nature’s about spreading your genes.
Let’s have a look at the harmony among ducks:

Fidelity: The male will try to fuck as many females as he can get away with. If
the female is unfaithful her partner will punish her by stopping to feed the
offspring or by not defending her and the nest.

Rape: It’s not uncommon to see a troupe of male ducks rape a female. Her partner
will make mch noise, but cannot do anything against the rapists. When they are
finished he’ll fuck her himself, just to make sure that there’s a chance it’ll
be his genes that are carried on.

-Abstract of work by swedish biologist Anders Pape Moeller.

#206 July 25.

#206 July 25.

What you need to fall in love: dopamin, nor-adrenalin and phenylaethylamin.
Then some endorphines and oxytocin to keep it up. Testosterone will keep the
female sexually receptive.

So what happens is that the male sees a female capable of bearing children,
and tries to do all sorts of tricks to sneak his twanger up inside her.
They fall in love, and nature is now providing them with around 7 months to
procreate. After this the feeling disappers or changes. These 7 months
infatuations are, among other things, called “May-December Romances”. When the
infatuation wears off, they might split, or turn it into “love”.
If the male stays, he’ll probably also get “The 7-year Itch”. The kids are old
enough for him to leave, everything has become routine, and he still has more
sperm to squeeze out inside females.

There. You’ve learned two new words again. Then it might also interest you
that women are attracted to men with high status that can offer them security
and provide. So, nerds with no money and status and nasty thoughts are not
going to procreate.
A woman wants a Man.

Likewise, females that do not look healthy in body and spirit are less likely to
get the partner of their dreams.

-Neugamme

#205 July 24.

#205 July 24.

As work shifted out of the fields and the home, children had to
be prepared for factory life. The early mine, mill, and factory owners
of industrializing England discovered, as Andrew Ure wrote in 1835,
that it was “nearly impossible to convert persons past the age of
puberty, whether drawn from rural or from handicraft occupations, into
useful factory hands.” If young people could be prefitted to the
industrial system, it would vastly ease the problems of industrial
discipline later on. The result was another central structure of all
second wave societies: mass education.
Built on the factory model, mass education taught basic reading,
writing, and arithmetic, a bit of history and other subjects. This was
the “overt curriculum.” But beneath it lay an invisible or “covert
curriculum” that was far more basic. It consisted – and still does in
most industrial nations – of three courses: one in punctuality, one in
obedience, and one in rote, repetitive work. Factory labor demanded
workers who showed up on time, especially assembly-line hands. It
demanded workers who could take orders from a management heirarchy
without questioning. And it demanded men and women prepared to slave
away at machines or in offices, performing brutally repetitious
operations.

-Alvin Toffler, “The Third Wave,” 1980

#204 July 23.

#204 July 23.

i finally figured it out. that nagging head pain, reoccuring periodically
enuf to be a bother. throbbing enuf to be a hindrance to daily function.
i finally figured out what it was!!!

you’re sailing along, think you’ve dealt with the mysteries of life for the
day, have put the angst poking at you from the back of your brain aside
and are trying to get on with it. life isn’t necessary good, but at least
on an even keel. then WHAP! SMACK!@ a 2 x 4 wallops you upside the head.
wood splinters and imbeds on the side of your skull.

“what were you thinking?? you thought you had it all figured out??”
WHAP!
“everything you thought was wrong! all your answers are bogus!”
POW!
SMACK!
“all the things you thought you knew are bogus! everything you
figured out about your life is bogus!!”
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

-j.

#203 July 22.

#203 July 22.

regardless of whether a man with long hair appeals to me, a man with
intelligence and wit and a twisted bent world view, regardless of whether
he has that twinkle in his eye and that sparkle in his soul….

if he can’t get past the games and the rules that society dumps on us,
those travesties that make it so difficult for men and women to speak
to each other, to hear each other, to understand each other,
what difference does it make?

-j.