#181 June 30.

#181 June 30. Nothing that has me doing nothing. Not suddenly nothing. Not completely nothing. See friends, see friends some more, looks like things are improving, cheer up, get some work done, cheer down, stop working. New self-delusion… Read More

#180 June 29.

#180 June 29. So can anyone describe how one survives after you’ve felt unbearably old for so long? There are actual adults here, right? Do you have an answer? I doubt I can have one. When I’m in… Read More

#179 June 28.

#179 June 28. First I can’t bear thinking about what I’m supposed to do, then I can’t bear thinking about tricks to get around that problem, on and on until there’s no thought of decisions at all, just… Read More

#178 June 27.

#178 June 27. Bored silly again. I won’t work because that would be starting something new and I’m not finished with what I was doing already, which is nothing. Been true almost all of the last few months,… Read More

#177 June 26.

#177 June 26. At this point I would like to point out that I have almost certainly learned nothing useful from any of this, as will be proven the next time I’m in a similar situation, and whatever… Read More

#176 June 25.

#176 June 25. Grad school was as bad as I feared it might be, but dropping out seems to have gone better than I thought it could, it seems like a bit of a waste that I spent… Read More

#175 June 24.

#175 June 24. My mood usually tries very hard to drag my opinions about objective reality with it, and it always does to some extent, but my mood has seesawed so many times that I’m getting pretty immune… Read More

#174 June 23.

#174 June 23. Is this the ultimate example of a pathetic waste of protoplasm? -Stephen Okay

#173 June 22.

#173 June 22. so i embrace the void it is my only lover it sucks up my secrets and silences my troubles yes, i fear the void but i can cry no longer so i return to the… Read More

#172 June 21.

#172 June 21. I’m pretty sure existence is meaningless. Once you give up superstition (or religion or whatever), there seems to be a straightforward logical progression to the conclusion that you’re just a chemical machine. A machine that… Read More