#329 November 25.

#329 November 25.

> Thanksgiving…

This sucks…I hate it. And I had to go through it this afternoon at the
family feast. Both my brothers and their respective wives/PIBs showed up
for dinner with me and my parents who are in the same mold as yours seem
to be. So here we are, one brother and wife both in law school, looking quite
the yuppies and all ready the next L.A. LAW poster couple, another in
Med school with his SO soon to be a Doctor, and then over here we’ve got
me…the family armadillo, who’s older than any of them and still has no clue
as to what FUCK I want to do with my life ultimately, except move away from
this area and get into grad school somewhere as far away from DC as possible.

Even though I’m dead set against giving in and conforming to the system,
its this concentrated form of lifestyle that makes me feel worthless and like
I’m being a total bum and complete failure. I think its just them….if you
have enough people of a certain social structure/belief system around and
you’re the only one not “in”, you’re bound to feel guilty. I hate being
in family situations. Even when they’re not saying anything or when they’re
being pleasant and really cool, theres just this air of guilt that hangs
overhead and infiltrates me.

-Stephen Okay

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