#362 December 28.

#362 December 28.

As the group starts the countdown to New Year’s, I sit silently.
When they reach `zero’ they all shout. I get up and leave.

I go home, look at the answering machine. The zero stares back at me.
Call some friends, no one is at home.

Drive to various friend/acquaitance houses. No one is home.
Decide to socialize, drive next to the single dance club in the area,
stop my car. I realize if I go in, I am committing myself…
I know people who work there, and they will be amazed if I show up without
somebody dragging me through the door.

I leave.

Go home, angrier than I’ve ever been since I matured enough to realize anger
doesn’t solve anything (re:6 years). Angry at myself, my situation, my
absolute fear of the opposite sex. (Have a couple of relationships
fuck you over lately? Yep.)

Sit in front of my computer and lurk.

Go to sleep.


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