#72 March 13.

#72 March 13.

So I got in a tub, sliced myself open, and lay in the water.
The inital shock is strange a burning sensation up your arm that spreads
throughout your body.
At first it stings a bit, then it goes numb, All I could think of was how
black the water looked. I was getting cold and starting to black out. I
looked to my left and saw my little sister who was standing there in shock
looking at me in a way that can not be described.
I blacked out at this point and can only remember bits and peices, like my
mom crying, dad yelling for her to shut up.
I remember being taken from my home past all the onlookers and feeling the
greatest amount of shame.
My girlfriend was sitting on the lawn of my home in a state of shock with my
friends around her.
The next thing I remember is sitting up in the intensive care unit, a few
days later with large bandages on my arms.
It doesn’t really matter why I did what I did, but now I have to live with
the shame Of doing it.
I rarely wear short sleaves for my scars would show, I was in the park on
day with short sleaves on and a little girl asked me what happen to my
arms , her mother saw me and dragged her away before I could answer, you can
not imagine how that made me feel, It was like killing myself all over again.
My sister was really never the same so I fucked her life along with mine.

It is not really worth it.

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